Category Archives: Personal Growth

How Writing Engenders Self-Improvement?

Abstract: Writing is a powerful tool using which you can introduce positive change in the society. However, this change should begin from within you for a lasting impact.

Pablo Picasso once said, “Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life”. The act of self-improvement is directly concerned with your soul. A pure soul contains a clean heart and a clean heart directs you to the path of righteousness and improvement.

Writing is an art which is easy to learn bet very difficult to overcome. But once did, it help you explore the inner horizons of your soul which you were once oblivion to. Writing also helps you bridge connection with others without uttering a single word. This connectivity is essential to our growth and development, as human beings tend to learn and get better by imitating one another.

In the contemporary times, we see that there is a tremendous increase in the number of writers. With the introduction of e-books, writers can easily get their books available to potential readers. This, however, has taken a hit on the quality of the material being produced. Not to mention that quality content is only produced when it generates from within. You cannot bring change, either in yourself or the society in general, if the purpose of your writing is mere monetary gains.

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A pen possesses more power than a sword. With your pen, you can change the fate of generations. With your pen, you introduce the ideas which you think are necessary for the societal development. With your pen, you can spread love and with the same pen, you can spread hate. It is up to you that how you prefer to use it. Charity begins at home, they say. So should be the case with the power of the pen. You should start using it for your own betterment first and for the society latter.

There are many ways you can use the power of writing for bringing a better change in your personality. Down under, we have briefly discussed these ways:

Writing is your acceptance

Improvement begins with acceptance. The beautiful journey to your self-improvement beings the day you accept your flaws and limitations. When you do this, only then you will be able to work on them and become a better individual.

Writing is a means using which you can tell the untold about you. You can share the sides of your personality which no one knew about. You can tell about incidents of your life which you would have never told using your tongue. It is a silent way of speaking out loud and saying what you wish to say.

Once you write the things which you were reluctant to say, you will feel a burden getting off your shoulders. You will feel light and happy. This happiness which you will feel is a sign that you are improving.

You own your limitations when you write about them. This means that you start accepting that you have weaknesses. This is where the journey to betterment begins. When you own them, these don’t remain weaknesses anymore, instead become your strengths.

Writing ensures connectivity

Through your speech, you can reach out to a limited number of people at a time whereas with your writings you can reach out to millions in a single go. The whole process of writing down your thoughts and sharing them with others ensures connectivity. This connectivity ultimately leads to synergy which is essential when it comes to getting better.

Writing doesn’t only ensure your individual’s improvement. Instead, when you write your thoughts share them with others, people also feel an urge to share their thoughts too. By adopting a compelling narrative you can urge others to speak their hearts out too. This will not only make you better but will others get rid of their limited circles too. Consequently, your writing will help usher a positive change in the society on the whole.

You write what your heart wants

As we have already mentioned that when you don’t write for mere economic gains then you write the actual thoughts from your heart. This is where self-actualization and introspection begins. The famous psychologist Cark Jung says, “Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.”

This means that when you are actually using the reasoning of your heart and your soul into your writings, you get to know yourself more. You learn the things about yourself which you never thought would have existed. This is the impact writing can have on your personality.

Write your goals to achieve them

Studies show that when you write down your goals on a piece of paper and read them on a daily basis, your chances of achieving them increase many folds. This also suggests that writing helps you get better in life.

The formula which works here is extremely simple. Once written, you will always remember the goals and dreams you set for yourself. This will keep your pushing for them every single day until the day reaches when you will surpass them.

These are the basics ways writing engenders self-improvement. The process of self-improvement is a lifelong thing. It starts the day you realize your weak points and exists till the very last breath. This actualization about getting better is what makes us competitive, and a hard-working individual. If this urge to become better isn’t there, then you will be what you are for the rest of life. And this isn’t how life is meant to be.

The saying of John Rogers fit perfectly here. He says, “You can’t think yourself out of a writing block; you have to write yourself out of a thinking block.” This is the growth and betterment we have been talking about in this whole article. Your limitations don’t define you but your potentials do. You cannot confine yourself to a certain place. Instead, you need to think out of the box every time you write. This thinking out-of-the-box, though difficult, is a sign of change. A change is always difficult.

So, don’t wait for the right moment to start writing. The moment you write will be the right moment to start.

 

Author: Ann Breen is a young psychologist. She practices at a private clinic. Writing is her hobby. She occasionally writes guest blogs for numerous websites. She currently writes custom essays for her clients occasionally.

Daydreaming

The topic of daydreaming does not get a lot of airtime around the dinner table, but my guess is everyone is secretly wondering what is going on in everyone else’s head.

Wouldn’t that make conversation outrageously more interesting?

“As, I walked to the library today I experienced the authenticity of the old cities in the Arabic world. I learned to speak Arabic in my free time over the next year and then moved there for ten years.

I sat in Algerian restaurants and listened to what the old people were talking about, then I went to the desert and heard what the old world had to say. I breathed Mediterranean air and saw myself in sandals with a dark tan and white smile.”

Not only do we not talk about the lives inside our heads, we don’t seem to know that much about them. I recently went on a daydreaming podcast bender and was stunned at the range of contradictory ideas of if daydreaming is good or bad. There wasn’t even a coherent definition of daydreaming.

What was clear though, is daydreaming is something that should have our attention. We spend over 50% of our time lost in our own little worlds, and depending who you listen to, it is the seed of success or the systemic cause of all unhappiness.

A massive study by Dan Gilbert and Matt Killingsworth  from the University of Harvard (that is responsible for the 50% statistic) found that when people let their mind’s wander they are less happy than when they are focused on a task. This was true regardless of whether the daydream was positive or negative.

On the flip side, every self improvement manual out there applauds and encourages the use of “positive thinking.” Not to mention the amount of creative geniuses who attribute their greatest breakthroughs to an aha moment generated out of random thought.

But, before we can get into whether daydreaming is good or bad, we first need to have a mutual understanding on the definition of daydreaming.

Daydreaming is an altered state of consciousness that occurs when our attention is no longer focused on our external situation. This definition of daydreaming includes everything from planning your day to taking your pet dragon for a spin over the town.

Just because it is an altered state of consciousness, however, doesn’t mean that it is necessarily unconscious. All topics of daydreaming can occur at a conscious, sub-conscious, or unconscious level.

3 Levels of Daydreaming

  1. Visualization

Visualization is a conscious break from reality. This is what most of the advocates of positive thinking are promoting (although dreaming about Hawaiian beaches is positive it doesn’t always fit here). To best understand visualization, it is the easiest if you just give it a try. Imagine being someone else who is looking at you right now and see what they see.

Visualization takes effort and focus. It is not the mind wandering that Gilbert and Killingsworth were studying at Harvard. This is always a positive form of daydreaming.

  1. Fantasy

This can range from full blown Narnia trips to imagining talking to the cute girl in the coffee shop. Fantasy can seem like a visualization, but you are not consciously choosing where you will go. This is the brain in its default network mode and is what a lot of people think when they hear daydreaming.

This is the brain mode where the aha moment occurs. As your brain spins through scenarios it is drawing on information and ideas from all parts of your brain, and this is how random ideas are sprouted.

However, it is also possible to get lost in this dream world. Our brains have a difficult time deciphering between what is real and imaginary http://drdavidhamilton.com/does-your-brain-distinguish-real-from-imaginary/, which leads to an obvious problem. Why would we ever chose to be in the real world when we can have anything we want in the imagination?

  1. Rumination

This type of daydreaming is so far off the scale of consciousness that it is impossible to control. A relatively harmless version of it is when you get a song stuck in your head. A not so healthy example would be when the driver next to you flips you the bird and you spend the rest of your day thinking of all the things you should have yelled out your window.

Rumination is a symptom of depression as well as anxiety. This is clearly the worst type of daydreaming. It is a full lack of the ability to focus your attention which Gilbert and Killingsworth discovered to be so essential to happiness.

So, Is Daydreaming Good or Bad?

Daydreaming is far too complicated to totally paint with a good or bad brush. Like most things that take up a lot of our attention and time (sleeping, eating, sex) it is essential for our success, but can easily consume us if we are not careful.

The trick is to monitor your level of conscious control over the daydreams. If you are purposefully engaging and disengaging, you are where you want to be. If you are stuck in a horrible pattern of replanning your day 27 times in a few hours, it may be time for some meditation.

The middle road of fantasizing is where it gets tricky. I personally used to have the problem of being bored with everything and getting lost in fantasy (and then messing up whatever I was doing). I realized that I was actually making my life boring by spending too much time fantasizing about exciting things.

However, since I make a living by using my creative juices, I couldn’t just lock my imagination in a box. So, I began consciously noting when I was daydreaming. I have specific times (going for a walk and eating lunch) when I allow my brain to go nuts, and I have specific times when I am careful to maintain focus (when I wake up, and at work).

Over time it becomes easier to consciously monitor and control your mind. It takes time energy and practise, but it is worth it. If you find it too hard, choose someone you trust, and make it a regular topic around the dinner table!

Greg Kamphuis travels the world and writes about how to make life better for yourself and for the world. His latest project, The Dopamine Challenge http://dopaminechallenge.com, is detour from his usual topic of conscious consumerism http://www.buybettermall.com/conscious-consumer-movement. The change of pace was necessary for him because he realized that before he can ask anyone to be a conscious consumer, he needed to be conscious himself.”

Work on Your Self-Esteem Issues with These Tips Today

Work on Your Self-Esteem Issues with These Tips Today

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Sometimes, we give all that we have to other people to make ourselves feel better, to somehow earn some good karma. But, it is crucial that, at the end of the day, you should never forget about that one person who is ultimately the most important one: yourself. When you are confident and assertive enough, reaching your short- and long-term goals will be possible. It is important that you find the passion inside you to think of yourself as nothing less; that you are enough; that you are beautiful. In times like this when we feel like we are lost, it is good to know that there is an available psychic directory where you can check out to talk to a talented psychic or medium and discuss with them your problems or obstacles in total confidence.

Some people may find that working on their self-esteem issues to be difficult, but so long as you are armed with valuable advice, tips, and strategies, you will eventually get there. Today, we will be providing you with helpful tips on how you can improve your confidence and self-esteem. We hope that by the end of this article, you will have already convinced yourself to start loving yourself more and loving the image you see on the mirror better.

Identifying your life goals

How do you see yourself 10 years from now? Do you see a bright future, with you smiling as your kids play in front of a house that you bought for your family? Or do you not really have any plans as of the moment? If you are not yet prepared for the future, it is definitely alright. Planning ahead means tackling our fear of uncertainty head on, which by the way, is a natural human response. But as far success and improving one’s self-esteem is concerned, you should learn how to set your short- and long-term goals as early as now. Your short-term goal can include getting a pay raise or getting promoted. Once these goals are known and put on paper, it becomes somehow tangible and achievable. This way, you can start your day with the right mindset that you really want to accomplish it. Step by step, you will get there eventually. You will feel better because you are achieving something you said you want.

Living healthy

Self-esteem does not only mean the way how you see yourself internally. It also includes how you feel when you look in the mirror. When you look in the mirror, do you like what you see? Are you starting to get unnecessary fat for all those fast foods you have been eating? Improving one’s attitude is important, but your physical self is just as crucial. Starting today, make a commitment to only eat healthy food. Start taking care of your body—if you smoke, now is the best time to quit. You will feel so much better after a month off nicotine. Your excessive consumption of beer is also not doing you any good, especially in the long run. It makes your stomach hurt and it costs you money. Start going out to exercise and indulging yourself in sports like basketball or just plain jogging. Most people have also found hiking to be a good way to destress and at the same time contemplate on some important decisions they have to make.

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Staying away from negative people

If you have not met any toxic people in life, believe me when I said that you eventually will. Know how to distance yourself from people whose outlooks in life are bad and their general disposition is negativity. It is not going to be good for you to surround yourself with people who complain a lot and not do anything about it. This type of people will bring you down slowly. So as early as you can, try to stay away from them. Be with people who bring out the best in you, help you whenever you need it, and make you laugh so hard it gets hard to breathe. These are usually the best kind of people to keep in your life—they do not feel like a burden and exude positive vibes in your life.

Doing something for the first time

Doing something for the first time—something that you have never really done and tried before—will make you feel accomplished. You will feel a rush of excitement because you are subjecting yourself to an unfamiliar experience and feeling. It can be as simple as learning the basics of a really complicated language or learning how to play the piano. By accomplishing this, you will be able to give your self-esteem and confidence a much needed boost. Get yourself a new hobby, conquer your fears, and explore the horizons out of your comfort zone.

Never comparing yourself with others

You must know, as early as now, that you are beautiful and unique and the possibility is endless. Comparing yourself with someone who is living a more comfortable life or is more successful will bring no good. It is not a habit that you should indulge yourself in. Instead of looking at how others live their lives, you should learn how to focus on yourself and identify which things you can do better. Improve yourself little by little, and you will eventually get where that person is right now. Sacrifices have to be made, but these are small price to pay for feeling lighter and happier each time you wake up in the morning. The worst critic in our life is ourselves, so you be careful of what you tell yourself. Focus on the good, and deal with the bad accordingly.

Your journey to improving your self-esteem and boosting your confidence starts today, and the first step is to acknowledge that you will get better. Know that a better self-esteem means living a happier life, which is, what the goal of our life is. If you have anything else to add, feel free to leave a comment below.
Images by Unsplash and Leah Kelley under Public Domains CC0

3 Steps For Eliminating All Stress in 5 Days Without Any Tricks

“It is not a daily increase, but a daily decrease. Hack away at the inessentials.” ~Bruce Lee

One of the reasons stress is terrible is because of the compounded effect of anxiety and health issues. Millenials are pushed to work harder thanks to all the comparison they do on the internet to “successful people.” It’s tough.

Yet, humans are tribal creatures, with genetic tendencies rooted to our distant past. The more we can align and understand our roots, the better we can fight off stress and uncertainty.

Here’s how:

1.Cut out extended stress situations.

In order to keep anxiety and stress pressure low, you should set up a system to lower extended stress situations. These include: a 5 minute time-out to walk around when your environment gets too tough or a blocked off time in your calendar to relax.

These moments will give you a moment to return to a balanced and calm state to better assess your surroundings. In the book 15 Secrets Successful People Know About Time Management, the founder of LinkedIn says he has to block off moments of time for himself. Before doing so, he was overwhelmed and out of control because of his back to back endless meetings.

Understand the consequences of staying in a prolonged stress environment. Your body is not wired to take this heat. It is still evolved to deal with short-term high-stress situations like running away from a dangerous predator. With extended stress, you damage your health, longevity, energy, and thinking. If you cope with a work environment that doesn’t allow you to relax occasionally, you’re dooming yourself.

If you have to, change jobs to fit your demands.

2.Start meditating daily

Meditation is one of the most powerful self-development tools.

The science of meditation shows that it can reduce stress by physically changing the strucyour brain. Mindfulness meditation helps rest and digest your nervous system. After 11 hours of meditation, practitioners had structural changes that improved the areas responsible for focus and self-control.

A study by Michael Speca PhD found that meditation decreased mood disturbance and stress symptoms.

Meditation does not have to be this gigantic undertaking. If you look at it like this, it will overwhelm you and scare you away from even starting.

Most people I know who are successful entrepreneurs and frequent meditators started out with a baby step goal: just two minutes a day.

Over time, as you get more used to meditating, you can slowly increase the duration to form it into a deeper habit.

3.Change Your Environment

Oftentimes, the tasks or situation you are stressed about aren’t that important. Ask yourself if this task really contributes to your big goal. You may find that a lot of the tasks that take up your time have a very little impact on your bottom line.

If what stresses you out is of little importance, eliminate it. Examples include trivial email responses you have to make, minor maintenance requests, or needless meetings. Move these aside and focus on the most important task that will get you towards your end goal.

According to the Pareto Principle, 80% of your results come from 20% of your tasks. Identify that task and double down.

Most people try to fix the symptoms without ever working on the root cause.

If you have a job you hate or a life that’s not great, change it. Using tactics to solve short-term issues will never fix the underlying prolonged problem.

For example, many people turn to drugs like Advil or Tylenol to cure headaches. Instead, cure the cause of the headache itself: the part of the career you don’t enjoy doing.

Assess if it’s really worth doing. Does it really lead to a high impact on your company’s end goals? If not, stop doing it. If so, hire someone to do those parts who can do it better than you.

It won’t happen overnight. These transitions take time. If it was easy for everyone to live their dream job and dream life, everyone would.

Take night classes, reach out to people with interesting jobs to learn more, develop your side business on the side. Intern and volunteer at new jobs. Keep working hard and you will succeed.

Conclusion

Tactics can help you with stress reduction. But these should only be used when you have found a job that you love that happens to have stress that cannot be avoided, like being an entrepreneur.

Otherwise, you want to solve the root issue of your stress rather than cover up the symptoms because it is what will truly fix the problem.

If you have any further questions, feel free to contact me and I will help out for free.
Bio: Will has spent thousands of hours studying the world’s most successful people, especially businessman. He has poured over hundreds of books and thousands of videos and articles to find the secrets to success. He blogs about his findings at willyoulaugh.com Get a free bonus eBook from Will: “The Top 10 books that changed my life” at http://willyoulaugh.com/powerful-books

This was a guest post, if you would like to write a post for this site check out this page to see if you’d be a good fit.

7 Productive Things You Can Do Instead Of Regretting Your Past Decisions

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I don’t know about you, but not everything I did in my past has helped me out in my present. In fact, that is saying it lightly. Some of the decisions I made in the past seem to have hurt my life and my current situation.

I wish I would have focused more on school so my college GPA would have been harder, I wish I would have worked harder on my online businesses, and even though I’ve accomplished a lot in my life and experienced plenty, I wish I would have taken more chances.

Life is all about making decisions. Sometimes the decisions we make work out in our favor, and sometimes they don’t. It is natural to wish you would have done something a little differently or taken more chances in life. We all make mistakes, just look around at the people you look up to most and you’ll soon realize that everybody has faults.

But that doesn’t mean we have to sit around regretting the mistakes that we have made and curse our past self forever for investing in those beanie babies that were sure to be a hot collectors item.

Sometimes it is just better to write-off the mistakes we make and focus on our future, after all the future is what matter anyway. Before I get off track, here are 7 productive things that you can do instead of sitting around regretting the past decisions that you made.

1. Learn From Your Mistakes

We all make mistakes, but that doesn’t mean we have to keep making the same ones. Life is a learning experience, so take what you have done so far in your life and examine it. What mistakes have you made? What decisions did you do that didn’t exactly help you out? What can you do in the future to avoid making those same mistakes?

Mistakes are actually healthy. If we never made them, we would never grow. If we simply avoiding making mistakes or doing something that means we have to risk failure we would never grow as a human being. We have all fell down a few times when trying to ride a bike, and we don’t regret the falling because we understand that falling is just a means to an end. None of us would have become the expert bike rider we are today, if we didn’t fall down, make mistakes, and learn from them.

2. Don’t Worry About What You Can’t Change

We can focus all we want on the problems outside of our control and it will never change a thing. The truth is if you focus on what you cannot change, it does not accomplish anything. You can’t change a bad hand that was dealt to you (even if you are the one who dealt it), What you can change is how you play the cards you are given.

If you are going to spend energy focusing on your future don’t waste it focusing on the things you can’t do anything about. Instead, focus on what you can do. What steps can you take to improve your position? What steps can you take to come out ahead? Those are the questions that will be worth asking.

3. Think About Your Options

So you messed up. How can you fix it? If something breaks, you should be able to fix it right? At the very least you should be looking for a way to overcome any bad situation. As you move forward in life you will learn that sometimes the best skill to have is the ability to focus on the good and plan the future instead of worrying about what might hurt you in life.

Everybody may fumble the ball, but the ones who are able to recapture their passion and move forward are the ones who will achieve ever lasting success.

4. Look For Opportunities

The old saying is true, “When God closes a door he opens a window.” You just have to be optimistic enough to look for that open window and crawl in. Focus on the positives and the opportunities that emerge. If you do, you’ll soon find out that even when something seems like it is the end of the world it really isn’t.

5. Think About What You Want To Accomplish

Now that you have looked at your options and thought about the opportunities, think about what you actually want to accomplish in life. Do you still have the same goals you had 5 years ago? Have your goals evolved? Where do you want to be in the future?

6. Make A Game Plan

Instead of focusing on what you could have done differently in the past focus on what you want to do in the present. Look at the options you have available and what you want to accomplish and decide on a fixed plan on getting there. In most cases, you can always turn things around, even if you think all hope is lost.

7. Accept That Nothing Is Perfect

Perfection does not exist! This is a hard one for me to accept. I would like to go to every job application with a 4.0 cumulative GPA and plenty of work experience, but that doesn’t always happen. Sometimes we just have to shoot for the moon with what we’ve got. Life rarely is perfect, but that doesn’t mean you can’t live a life you’ve always dreamed of. Give it your best try, forget the past and focus on the future, after all the past is over, the future is what matters now.

Like this article? Share it with your friends on Twitter and Facebook. Here are a few other articles that you may also enjoy

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A Lesson about Judging Others

1We’ve all heard not to judge others and that every time we point our finger
at someone 4 fingers are pointing back to us. We’ll I’d like to share a neat little story with you that I found on the web. There is a lot of wisdom in it.

A young couple moves into a new neighborhood. The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside. “That laundry is not very clean; she doesn’t know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap.”

Her husband looks on, remaining silent. Every time her neighbor hangs her wash to dry, the young woman makes the same comments.

A month later the woman is surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and says to her husband: “look, she finally learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her to do this?” The husband replies, “I got up early this morning and cleaned out windows” And so it is with life… What we see when watching others depends on the clarity of the window through which we look.

You see we all like to judge others and have our say. In fact gossip is believed to be one of the first thing humans talked about when they first learn to speak. So it should be no surprise that one of the oldest traditions in human civilization has carried forward to today.

The problem with judging another human being is that they have experiences and lessons that you have not. They may have their own reasons to do what they do, just like you have your own reasons you do what you do. Instead of judging other people, here are a few things you can do instead.

Learn From Them

Other people may have their own reasons for doing what they do. Instead of mocking and judging them, see if there is anything you can learn from them. You may judge someone else for “being cheap” but they mght have learned the hard way that having money saved up is an important step in life.

You might actually learn something from people who have different perspectives then you. Sam Wilson the creator of Walmart once said “To succeed in this would you have to change all the time”

Changing all the time does not mean once, you are set in your ways you are automatically correct. It means you need to be open to new perspectives, and new ways of thinking. You need to be curious about the unknown before you judge it.

Even if you still believe your way is the correct way, it doesn’t hurt to think about others and ask why they made a decision they did before you judge them.

Ignore Their Faults

Sometimes people do things that are just bad for them and the people around them. We all have habits we should break, and if you want to help others break their bad habit that is great.

But, sometimes you just have to forgive people for doing something wrong and ignore it. I’m not a smoker, but I have no problem allowing other people to smoke, as long as it doesn’t affect me. If they want to make that decision it is up to them, and I don’t think me or anyone else should tell them what to do.

Now if someone comes to me and asks me to help them quit smoking, I’ll gladly help them out, but I’m not going to force someone to change if they don’t want to.

Find People With Your Views

Being around people with different viewpoints can be a great way to expand your mind and open you up to new realities. But if you have such a big problem with another person and you can’t ignore it, then nobody is stopping you from finding other people to bring into your life.

You don’t have to focus on the people who you don’t agree with. Let them make their own choices and you can make yours. If you want to hang out with people who share your own perspective, you can. This world is pretty big, I’m sure you’ll find someone who you can get along with.

Help Them Through Life

You can always help them throughout their life. If you don’t think someone is doing something right, you can help them out by showing them the way you think it should be done. They might just learn something and you might create a bond between you and another person as they see you are trying to help them.

Don’t force them to agree with you, don’t turn it into an argument, but offer some advice that they can choose to accept or not. Remember, they are ultimately the ones who are going to determine how they live, and they are ultimately the ones who are going to make their own mistakes. Regardless of what you say people will always do what they think they should.

Be there to show them the right way, and help them when they fall, but don’t judge them and cause a fight, it isn’t worth losing a friendship over to prove your point.

You don’t want to be judged by others so return the favor.

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How To Cut The Amount Of Drama You Create By 90%

1We all have that person in our lives that thrives on drama. They seem to always be in the middle of it and it seems to always follow them around. If you know someone like that in your life, send them this article to help them cut back and have a less stressful life. If you’re the person whom drama follows around, take heart of what we will have to say here.

There is one sentence that can eliminate 90% of the drama that you create!

But before I get into that I have a word of caution. This sentence that I am about to tell you only helps reduce the amount of drama that you personally put off into the world.

Others may still cause drama themselves and may want to drag you into it. Eliminating drama from your life completely is a mix between lowering the drama you create and reducing the amount of influence that high drama people have in your own life.

So back to the sentence, before we go into how to reduce the drama you put off into the world we need to look at what drama is exactly.

Drama is born when 2 or more people have a conflict with one another. This can happen in a friendship, a relationship, or a sibling rivalry. It normally happens because one person expects something from another and is unhappy if it does not happen.

For example if we;

• Expect someone to help us out and they can’t make it
• Expect someone to be faithful and they are not a faithful person
• Expect someone we like the automatically like us back
• Expect someone who doesn’t care for us to treat us as well as we treat them

If we expect that others must do something or fall into our own viewpoint, then we create a trigger for drama. We create something that causes drama in the world.

So by definition, the easiest way to reduce drama is to realize something (hint it’s the sentence that eliminates drama)

We cannot control what people say and do.

People are imperfect. We all make mistakes and everyone you know (including me and you) is going to make some mistakes in our lives.

It is up to everyone to make their own mistakes and it is also up to them to learn from them. Another person may treat you poorly and you may decide that it just isn’t worth the drama to have them in your life. That is a mistake they have to make and they have to deal with.

You can’t change someone. You can help others along by giving them advice or motivating them to do something, but you can’t make them do something they just aren’t going to do.

In that case it is up to you to realize that nobody is perfect. People will be people and you have to either love them for it, ignore the flaws, or in extreme situations separate yourselves from those who you cannot stand.

You can’t control other people, but you can control yourself. A close friend canceling your meetup at the last minute will not, in it of itself be a big deal. What will make it a big deal is the emphasis we put on it.

If we can let it go and realize that they may be a flake or they may have a legitimate reason or something else may have happened, then we reduce our stress and destroy drama before it is created.

Should We Not Expect Anything?

Just because expecting something from others causes drama does not mean we can stop expecting stuff. We need to count on other people in our lives. We need to have some faith in the ones we love.

But we need to trust people who have earned our trust and we need to be understanding when something doesn’t go our way. Nobody is infallible, and most things aren’t worth causing stress over.

We also need to look internally because we can control what actions we take, and that may affect what actions others take.

Before blaming others completely for cheating on you look to see if there was something you did to run them off, before blaming others from freeloading think about how you could have invited it. There may not be something you did wrong, but there also may be a lesson you can learn for the future.

During times of extreme drama it may be hard to look internally and see if you could have helped create it. But that is the only way to learn from it and the only way to prevent it from happening again.

Drama is a manmade creation. If we understand that people make mistakes and we look internally before judging others, we eliminate our stress and gravitate to a more peaceful way of life.

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8 Simple Self Improvement Ideas That Work If You Do Them

We always are on the lookout for self improvement ideas that work, but to be honest there is only so much that you can learn by reading. To be truly successful in life you need to make sure you have a balanced life and that you are actually putting forth the effort to do the things you want.

Here are some self improvement ideas that sound pretty basic, but if you are doing them day in and day out, they can lead to a much better life.

1. Eat Right

Too many people are filling their stomach with junk, crap, and corn syrup then can’t figure out why they aren’t losing any weight or why they are extremely unhealthy. Eating right is just one of the basic things we do.

When we choose salads instead of fatty foods and choose tea instead of soda, not only do we start improving our health, but we start feeling better and have more energy to do the things we love.

Another advantage to creating a habit of healthy eating is that as we eat healthier foods we get used to them and all of a sudden healthy foods taste better then unhealthy ones. It is all about tastes and our tastes change based on what we eat.

2. Believe In Yourself And Think Positively

No matter what is going on in your life you have to know that you are fully capable of achieving your goals and getting past the hard parts in life. When you face stressful situations, the least productive thing you can do is to worry about it and start freaking out.

Instead, just continue along life’s path and believe in yourself. As long as you are making an effort to improve and you have a positive attitude things will work out for the best.

3. Don’t Forget To Work At It

It is important to remember that nothing actually happens by itself. If you are simply waiting around for someone else to solve your problems you will never get anywhere in life. The only way to improve your life is to turn off the T.V. , stop searching facebook, and start doing something that will improve your situation.

You will not improve your situation overnight. But as long as you keep pushing through and keep having a positive attitude you can accomplish some amazing things You can have anything you want out of life, but you’ll have to work for it.

Nothing is free in this world. Since the dawn of time, those who took action and tried the hardest to achieve their goals always had more fruitful lives and accomplished a lot more during their lives then those who never took the first step.

4. Spend Time With Loved Ones

Of course money and success isn’t everything. There is no point having everything you’ve ever wanted if you have nobody left to share it with. Be sure to make time for others and put down your books to play with others.

Not only will spending time with others help keep those you love in your life, but it will also help relieve your stress and make memories with others.

5. Don’t Stop Learning

Our mind is a beautiful thing. It can learn so much and can help us through so many difficult situations. But we have to keep learning in order to keep it at its peak. Most people stop reading after they are done with school.

But those who keep reading and keep learning will have an edge in the world.
As we stay fascinated about the world around us we learn new ways to improve our lives, we become more valuable as a human being, and we lead a more interesting life in general.

The greatest men in history were all curious and they never stopped learning. The pursuit of knowledge might not always be the most popular way of living life, but it is certainly worth it.

6. Listen To The Advice Of Others

When we are given advice from others we can either choose to completely ignore it, take it as an insult, or learn from it and use it in our own lives. There is really no point in ignoring it or taking it as an insult.

The mere fact that they are giving you advice means they care about you enough to try and help you out. Don’t be so quick to dismiss other people’s ideas. They may know something you do not, they may have been in your situation before, and it may actually benefit you. But you will never know unless you stop and listen to it.

7. Learn From Your Mistakes

Everybody makes mistakes. It is easy to feel bad about them and to feel like we are a failure, or we can learn from them. Be excited that you will get to learn something new instead of sad that you did something you shouldn’t have done.

8. Don’t Forget To Enjoy Today

There comes a time in everyone’s life where we realize that life has gone by so fast. During this time we have to not only ask ourselves what we accomplished in our life, but whether it was worth it. The simple fact is that we won’t be here again, so we had better learn to enjoy today while it last.

We only live once, let’s make it count for something.

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8 Convincing Reasons To Stop Seeing Yourself As A Victim

Worried_People_5[1]It’s never my fault! I’m just the victim. Things would have been better if not for my bad luck! Does this sound familiar? Have you blamed others or life for the situation that you are in? Were you really wrong to?

It is natural for us to convince ourselves that we were the victim and that there wasn’t anything we could have done to make things work out better for us. Whether we do this consciously to persuade others or unconsciously to persuade ourselves, it’s never our fault.

Playing the victim helps you win arguments, it helps you gain higher ground, but rarely does it help you grow as a person. Going through tough times is just a part of life. Sometimes we need to struggle a little to get where we want to be.

But if at any time you feel like a victim, here are 8 reasons to stop seeing yourself as one and move on.

1. You Lose Control

When you start believing that you are a victim in life you are admitting to yourself that your destiny is beyond your control. It only makes sense, you didn’t have control over your life in the past and the world has pushed you around, what makes you think you will do any better in the future.

Believing you are a victim is a very depressing way to live because it makes you feel inferior to those around you. When you focus on what has happened in your life that you can’t control you stop focusing on what you can control, and that is when you lose your power.

2. Negative Thinking

Einstein once said that there are two ways to look at the world, one where everything in a miracle and one where nothing is. When you believe you are a victim you are succumbing to the negative thinking that brings scarcity and loneliness to your world.

Negative thoughts only attract negative things. It is impossible to find the good when you are always looking for the negatives.

Switching that around and looking for the positives in the world will not only make life much more enjoyable, but it will also mean your future is not weighed down by something negative that has happened in your past.

3. It Only Justifies A Failure

Us humans are remarkably good at justifying things. We can pretty much justify anything we want to ourselves as long as we try. Sometimes it is a stress reliever when we tell ourselves that there was nothing we could have done or calm ourselves down.

Other times it simply works against us. As we tell ourselves that our life was ruined by some outside object and there is nothing we can do. When we tell ourselves that we don’t have the power to change our surroundings we tend to give up too easily.

On the other hand when we take some responsibility for the events in our lives, even the ones we had little control over, we start making a plan to improve upon the future and become much stronger people.

There is a lot of power in blaming yourself. It allows you to take control of your circumstances and make changes that will improve your life.

4. Nobody Cares About Your Life As Much As You

When we are kids we are taught to cry when we want something or to make ourselves appear to be the victim when we want someone else to stand up for us. But as we get older it becomes more obvious that you are the one who cares most about your circumstances.

You can complain or try to get sympathy all you want, but nothing in your life will change until you tell yourself that you are strong and you can get past it. You need to take action and move forward, if you do it doesn’t matter what your circumstances are today because they will soon change for the better.

5. Life Goes On

Life keeps going on, you can either complain about what has happened to you or you can live life to its fullest. I know when you are going thtough a hard time it is very difficult to assume that it will all get better, but believe me it will.

Instead of sitting around stressing or worrying, go for a walk. Look around you. Notice that the world is still intact and there is always a chance for a comeback.

6. There Is Always The Future

When you look backwards and think about the past, you forget the future. Sometimes playing victim even if it means you will get back at someone who hurt you in the past isn’t worth the loss it has on your future.

Don’t spend so much time dreading the past and feeling sorry for yourself that you forget to enjoy the present and plan for the future. What has passed, has passed. We can’t change it, but we can change the future.

7. You Will Always Have The Memories

If you are dealing with loss, remember that the memories will always be there. You don’t have the be sad that it ended as long as you can remain happy that it happened. Take the positives that you learned from your past and put them to good use.

Take the negatives, learn from them, but don’t focus on them. Become a stronger person for the experience and have fun with the future.

8. It Breaks The Chain

There are two sides to every story. While you are over here talking about how someone else ruined everything they might be on the other end talking about how you ruined everything.

Why not exclude yourself from the name calling and sympathy seeking adventure? Rise above it and look straight ahead. You don’t have to be the victim if you don’t want to, so why take on the role?

It’s easy to want to be the victim, and sometimes we are affected by forces beyond our control. But the second you stop thinking as yourself as a victim and decide to make a change is the second your life will take a turn for the best.

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A Common Lie We Tell Ourselves To Sabotage Our Success

1I’ve been running online businesses for years now. It has been a fun experience and has taught me a lot about the world of business and about life in general. One thing I have noticed along the way is that we tend to tell ourselves little lies that can get in the way of our success.

I’m sorry to say that I’ve been guilty of this as well. My sites were getting most of their traffic from the search engines. Anybody who has marketed things online knows that the search engines are constantly changing and updating their algorithm.

In fact Google alone makes hundreds of different changes to their algorithm each year. This means the way they rank sites is changing hundreds of times each year and every online business can see their traffic and sales shoot up or down based on those changes.

Of course the goal of these changes is to improve and serve up better content to the people searching online and most of the time if you provide great content it doesn’t affect you very much. But sometimes it can have big effects on your business.

A few years back my main site fell in the search engine rankings. I tried to change it, but eventually I moved on. What was worse, I gave up creating great content sites altogether, saying that the times have changed and that it was harder to make money online then it used to be.

I could have always created new sites and promoted them like crazy to rebuild my business, but I didn’t put the time and effort into it. My thinking was that “if everything can just change in an instant what is the point to working so hard for it?” Well that sort of thinking was flawed!

That was my trap. What I should have done was find out why I lost my business and find out how I can build others that would not fail the same way. Who knows where I would have been if I spent my time rebuilding my business and learning from my past mistakes.

I fell into a trap when that happened, and it is a trap I see a lot of people falling into. People simply want to believe that if they are failing at something it is because the times have changed and that they would have been successful if they were just doing it a few years earlier.

It doesn’t take long before you see people talking on online forums or you hear people talking offline about how things are different now and you can’t be successful because of some weird reason.
Some common excuses I see are;

It’s impossible to find a job because the economy is bad and employers just aren’t hiring
My business used to make money, but the market has changed and I can’t make money in the new business

My business can’t make money with all these new competitor’s in the market
Times have changed and people just can’t afford what I am selling/marketing/promoting/offering

It’s easy to come up with these excuses, and that is exactly what most people do when times get hard. Nowhere is this more apparent than when you are dealing with the online world.

The internet is constantly changing, the rules change, new sites pop up, new competitors enter the market, and things simply change, all the time.

Seeing all these things changing it is easy to believe that the world isn’t the same world we used to know, even when you realize that nothing really major happens. The world is still basically the same place has always been. Some minor rules may change, but the world still goes on.

There’s no use worrying about changing times or use it as an excuse it only wastes your time, robs you of success, and may even drag you into a depression.

What To Do Instead?

Instead of worrying about changing times and using it as an excuse to fail, embrace change as you see it. Learn from it and take it as a growing opportunity. If the market is changing look for ways to change with it.

For instance if you truly believe the job market is slow or will be slow, look for ways to differentiate yourself. People with unique skills will always be in demand. Another option would be to simply try harder and fill out more applications and knock on more doors.
Regardless of what you believe keep pushing harder. The world hasn’t fallen to pieces and a slow economy doesn’t mean that businesses can suddenly stop hiring or people can suddenly stop buying things they need or want.

When things get slow or seem to be harder use it as a way to get better at what you do and try harder. That way you can still survive the hard times and when things turn around again you will be a much stronger person and in a great position to take advantage of it.
Maybe what you have done in the past doesn’t work as well today, and if that is the case embrace the change as a learning experience and find another path to the same goal. Your mind will expand and your creativity will help you in other areas of life as well.

Final Tips

Change is going to happen. It is a major part of life. It’s hard in all aspects of life, but it can be hard to overcome mentally. When change has to do with your job or business, it can be even more stressful because you need money to pay the bills. In this case it is always good to have some savings or another source of income to make things easier on you. Saving money and preparing for a rainy day when times are good is just a smart thing to do after all.

Know that change will happen. Don’t be afraid of it, don’t assume that it will be the cause of your successes or failures. Only you can make that decision. Don’t be afraid of change, because we all have to deal with it, and we all have to find a way to reach our goals regardless of what comes our way.

Have you told yourself that things have changed and that you can’t be successful with the new environment? Have you overcome that negative thinking and just pushed through to find success? Tell us about it by commenting below.

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