We’ve all heard not to judge others and that every time we point our finger
at someone 4 fingers are pointing back to us. We’ll I’d like to share a neat little story with you that I found on the web. There is a lot of wisdom in it.
A young couple moves into a new neighborhood. The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside. “That laundry is not very clean; she doesn’t know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap.”
Her husband looks on, remaining silent. Every time her neighbor hangs her wash to dry, the young woman makes the same comments.
A month later the woman is surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and says to her husband: “look, she finally learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her to do this?” The husband replies, “I got up early this morning and cleaned out windows” And so it is with life… What we see when watching others depends on the clarity of the window through which we look.
You see we all like to judge others and have our say. In fact gossip is believed to be one of the first thing humans talked about when they first learn to speak. So it should be no surprise that one of the oldest traditions in human civilization has carried forward to today.
The problem with judging another human being is that they have experiences and lessons that you have not. They may have their own reasons to do what they do, just like you have your own reasons you do what you do. Instead of judging other people, here are a few things you can do instead.
Learn From Them
Other people may have their own reasons for doing what they do. Instead of mocking and judging them, see if there is anything you can learn from them. You may judge someone else for “being cheap” but they mght have learned the hard way that having money saved up is an important step in life.
You might actually learn something from people who have different perspectives then you. Sam Wilson the creator of Walmart once said “To succeed in this would you have to change all the time”
Changing all the time does not mean once, you are set in your ways you are automatically correct. It means you need to be open to new perspectives, and new ways of thinking. You need to be curious about the unknown before you judge it.
Even if you still believe your way is the correct way, it doesn’t hurt to think about others and ask why they made a decision they did before you judge them.
Ignore Their Faults
Sometimes people do things that are just bad for them and the people around them. We all have habits we should break, and if you want to help others break their bad habit that is great.
But, sometimes you just have to forgive people for doing something wrong and ignore it. I’m not a smoker, but I have no problem allowing other people to smoke, as long as it doesn’t affect me. If they want to make that decision it is up to them, and I don’t think me or anyone else should tell them what to do.
Now if someone comes to me and asks me to help them quit smoking, I’ll gladly help them out, but I’m not going to force someone to change if they don’t want to.
Find People With Your Views
Being around people with different viewpoints can be a great way to expand your mind and open you up to new realities. But if you have such a big problem with another person and you can’t ignore it, then nobody is stopping you from finding other people to bring into your life.
You don’t have to focus on the people who you don’t agree with. Let them make their own choices and you can make yours. If you want to hang out with people who share your own perspective, you can. This world is pretty big, I’m sure you’ll find someone who you can get along with.
Help Them Through Life
You can always help them throughout their life. If you don’t think someone is doing something right, you can help them out by showing them the way you think it should be done. They might just learn something and you might create a bond between you and another person as they see you are trying to help them.
Don’t force them to agree with you, don’t turn it into an argument, but offer some advice that they can choose to accept or not. Remember, they are ultimately the ones who are going to determine how they live, and they are ultimately the ones who are going to make their own mistakes. Regardless of what you say people will always do what they think they should.
Be there to show them the right way, and help them when they fall, but don’t judge them and cause a fight, it isn’t worth losing a friendship over to prove your point.
You don’t want to be judged by others so return the favor.
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