It’s never my fault! I’m just the victim. Things would have been better if not for my bad luck! Does this sound familiar? Have you blamed others or life for the situation that you are in? Were you really wrong to?
It is natural for us to convince ourselves that we were the victim and that there wasn’t anything we could have done to make things work out better for us. Whether we do this consciously to persuade others or unconsciously to persuade ourselves, it’s never our fault.
Playing the victim helps you win arguments, it helps you gain higher ground, but rarely does it help you grow as a person. Going through tough times is just a part of life. Sometimes we need to struggle a little to get where we want to be.
But if at any time you feel like a victim, here are 8 reasons to stop seeing yourself as one and move on.
1. You Lose Control
When you start believing that you are a victim in life you are admitting to yourself that your destiny is beyond your control. It only makes sense, you didn’t have control over your life in the past and the world has pushed you around, what makes you think you will do any better in the future.
Believing you are a victim is a very depressing way to live because it makes you feel inferior to those around you. When you focus on what has happened in your life that you can’t control you stop focusing on what you can control, and that is when you lose your power.
2. Negative Thinking
Einstein once said that there are two ways to look at the world, one where everything in a miracle and one where nothing is. When you believe you are a victim you are succumbing to the negative thinking that brings scarcity and loneliness to your world.
Negative thoughts only attract negative things. It is impossible to find the good when you are always looking for the negatives.
Switching that around and looking for the positives in the world will not only make life much more enjoyable, but it will also mean your future is not weighed down by something negative that has happened in your past.
3. It Only Justifies A Failure
Us humans are remarkably good at justifying things. We can pretty much justify anything we want to ourselves as long as we try. Sometimes it is a stress reliever when we tell ourselves that there was nothing we could have done or calm ourselves down.
Other times it simply works against us. As we tell ourselves that our life was ruined by some outside object and there is nothing we can do. When we tell ourselves that we don’t have the power to change our surroundings we tend to give up too easily.
On the other hand when we take some responsibility for the events in our lives, even the ones we had little control over, we start making a plan to improve upon the future and become much stronger people.
There is a lot of power in blaming yourself. It allows you to take control of your circumstances and make changes that will improve your life.
4. Nobody Cares About Your Life As Much As You
When we are kids we are taught to cry when we want something or to make ourselves appear to be the victim when we want someone else to stand up for us. But as we get older it becomes more obvious that you are the one who cares most about your circumstances.
You can complain or try to get sympathy all you want, but nothing in your life will change until you tell yourself that you are strong and you can get past it. You need to take action and move forward, if you do it doesn’t matter what your circumstances are today because they will soon change for the better.
5. Life Goes On
Life keeps going on, you can either complain about what has happened to you or you can live life to its fullest. I know when you are going thtough a hard time it is very difficult to assume that it will all get better, but believe me it will.
Instead of sitting around stressing or worrying, go for a walk. Look around you. Notice that the world is still intact and there is always a chance for a comeback.
6. There Is Always The Future
When you look backwards and think about the past, you forget the future. Sometimes playing victim even if it means you will get back at someone who hurt you in the past isn’t worth the loss it has on your future.
Don’t spend so much time dreading the past and feeling sorry for yourself that you forget to enjoy the present and plan for the future. What has passed, has passed. We can’t change it, but we can change the future.
7. You Will Always Have The Memories
If you are dealing with loss, remember that the memories will always be there. You don’t have the be sad that it ended as long as you can remain happy that it happened. Take the positives that you learned from your past and put them to good use.
Take the negatives, learn from them, but don’t focus on them. Become a stronger person for the experience and have fun with the future.
8. It Breaks The Chain
There are two sides to every story. While you are over here talking about how someone else ruined everything they might be on the other end talking about how you ruined everything.
Why not exclude yourself from the name calling and sympathy seeking adventure? Rise above it and look straight ahead. You don’t have to be the victim if you don’t want to, so why take on the role?
It’s easy to want to be the victim, and sometimes we are affected by forces beyond our control. But the second you stop thinking as yourself as a victim and decide to make a change is the second your life will take a turn for the best.
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